We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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