Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
