oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
