There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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