my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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