Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You need a sexual gate keeper
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
