HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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