Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize