By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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