i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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