yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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