dude i'm inner monologue high
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
