me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
