used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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