trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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