went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
