i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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