she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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