I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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