i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize