I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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