Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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