Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
