I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
