So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
