Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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