oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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