Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
