No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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