She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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