I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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