They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
