new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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