Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
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I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class