try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."