is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life