Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
