how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
