It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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