The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
