Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
