She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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