susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
