Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Then you guys just all showered together...?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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