i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mom said you looked used
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
