Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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