I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
