idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
