oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
