Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
