someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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