do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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