mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
