Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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