"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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