There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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