The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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