I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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