Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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