I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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