Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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