Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
